dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
