Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
