OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
