New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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