His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
