cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
