is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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