I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
