Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize