I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
