The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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