he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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