This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
