Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So vagazzling was a success
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
