the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
