and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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