Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
