i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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