Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize