Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
