Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
