just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
