I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
