He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize