before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
