Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
