i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
