hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
