I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
