She's JV to your varsity
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
