Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
