We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize