I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Randomize
