I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize