Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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