sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
