Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
