First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
