And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
