I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
where are my eyebrows?
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