i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize