She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
