guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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