i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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