when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
50% drunk capacity currently
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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