We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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