Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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