I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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