Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
