lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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