Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
