please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize