whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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