I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
