i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
