Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
