So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
